Why do we tend to get frustrated with our parents? “They are trying to run my life.” “They are holding me back.” “They won’t let me be me.”
What is the solution? TRUE INDEPENDENCE!

Does this mean move out of the house? Get a job? Live on your own? These can give you personal independence, but are you truly independent? Try it and you will see the emotional baggage from your parents have followed you with a vengeance.

We are called to live in harmony with those around us, as far as it depends on us (Romans 12:18). That means we are in control of how we react to those around us. Including how we react to our parents.

True emotional and spiritual independence is to detach the emotional baggage that comes from parents and attach to God. This doesn’t mean to become detached and disrespectful to our parents, but for you to relate to your parents as people loved by God.

Jesus taught us that if we love anyone above Him, we are not worthy of Him (Matthew 10:37-39). When you can honestly say you love God above all things in your life, you are truly independent of everything, and everyone. Once you find this independence in your life, you are free to love, honor, and obey in ways you never have before.

Look at it this way – the more you love God, the more you desire to obey Him. The more you obey Him, the more you love those around you. The more you love those around you, the more you will respect and honor them. If we leave God out of this equation, we won’t have the capacity to love on this level. God, through His power, expands your ability to love and respect everyone around you.

In other words, the closer you get to God, the more you will desire to honor God, the more you will desire to honor your parents because this is what God expects of you.

Ultimately, Jesus is our example. So how did He interact with His parents? All three of them?

– His Heavenly Father.

The Father announced during the baptism that He was well pleased with Jesus (Matthew 3:17). In return, Jesus gave full respect to His Father and set out to do His business.

– Joseph

Jesus showed His respect for His earth father by being teachable and going into the family business of carpentry before setting out on His earthly ministry.

– Mary

There is evidence to support that their relationship might have been a strained one from time to time. For example, His first miracle of turning the water into wine came after the sharp comment “Why do you involve me? It isn’t my time!” Yet, despite His objections, He obeyedMary and did as He was asked (John 2:4).

Elsewhere. when told she was waiting for Him, Jesus responded that His allegiance was not with His family but with those who seek God’s will (Matthew 12:46-50). In His final moments, He made sure Mary was taken care of (John 19:26-27), after He made sure His Father’s will was done.

Jesus loved God above all else. As a result, he loved, honored, and obeyed His earthly parents. Shouldn’t we fully surrender ourselves over to God, become truly independent of those around us, so we may love and honor them the way God loves and honors them?